Howdy folks and welcome to the third and final February edition of The Modern Day Critic. If you’re new here, it should take you about three seconds to figure out how it works. (Any longer than that and you are very, very slow, but thanks for dropping by anyway.) And if you’re a regular, thanks for coming back.

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On with the show:

From stuffing to pancakes to trail mix, these tiny, wrinkled nuggets complement most foods with a touch of natural sweet flavor. And for a while I denied liking them – probably because they’re little more than dead grapes.

The terrible “T” word during the past election, taxes are an essential part of your life (unless you don’t like schools, roads and fire departments). The MDC tax plan would ensure the country’s coffers are full for years: If you vote for any ticket with Sarah Palin on it, you get slapped with $1,000 asshole tax.

Since layoffs are an expected part of today’s economy, they can be used to explain any departure from work – no questions asked. So if you don’t mind losing your job and you want to come to work naked (Hey, I’m not here to judge), now’s your chance. “I was laid off,” is the only excuse your next employer needs to hear.

Thanks to Patty Y. for suggesting the topic.

The Oscars
When giving out the coveted award, presenters used to say, “And the winner is …”, but now it’s “And the Oscar goes to …” Why? The Academy wanted to avoid hurt feelings by labeling some winners and others not. It seems that the Hollywood’s egos are so fragile that millions of dollars and legions of fans aren’t enough. And that “it’s just an honor being nominated” is a load of crap.

The Modern Day Critic lives in the Northeast where record breaking snowfall has meant hours of backbreaking shoveling. And although it’s almost to the point where I’d rather shovel shit than snow, I am glad that shit doesn’t typically fall form the sky.

Well, that’s it for now. You can have more in March.