I see that we meet again …

Johnny
Remember when all you needed to be a movie bad guy was blonde hair and a bad attitude? William Zabka does. He played Johnny, the lead asshole, in the Karate Kid. It’s because of him and the success of the film that Hollywood casting agents joined the fight against originality. Thus subsequent 80’s films like Back to School (Zabka again), Revenge of the Nerds (Ted McGinest), and Real Genius (Robert Prescott), all featured a Johnny character of their own.

The Beer Summit
To assuage civil unrest from Police Sergeant James Crowley’s arrest of Professor Henry Gates Jr. in his own home, President Obama invited the men to the White House for beers –yet another great idea from the hippest president since JFK. But why stop there? He should meet everyone— from the Pope to Putin—at the White House for booze. And for visitors that don’t drink? Crack summits. Everyone loves crack.

Jesus Christ
What gives rightwing, redneck, conservative, fuck heads the right to claim this guy as their own? Pro-gun. War-mongering. Anti-gay. Close-minded. All the things they are, I’d wager he wasn’t. I didn’t know the man, but I’m pretty sure Jesus was a liberal, and from the way he’s portrayed— the first hippie.

Rush Limbaugh
Rush is fond of labeling people on the left “Liberal Nazis. “ Now, I’m no history student, but weren’t Nazis the most conservative political party in world history? There can be “Liberal Communists,” but “Nazis” sounds more relevant (even going on 65+ years), especially to the klingon, fuck faces who listen to this fat head.

Your vs. You’re
At the risk of sounding like an asshole (okay, I’m sounding like an asshole), please use the proper form of “your” or “you’re” in writing. It’s not hard. “You’re” is a contraction. It means “you are.” “Your” is possessive. Use it if the subject owns something. Now go forth, and write. Just don’t fuck up “their,” “there,” and “they’re.”

If you enjoyed Issue 19 the Modern Day Critic, please pass it on to a friend. Sign up for The Modern Day Critic mailing list by emailing moderndaycritic@yahoo.com with “Me First” in the subject. And remember: You can pick your friends and you can pick your boogers, but you can’t wipe your friends on the couch.

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