Welcome to Issue 22 of The Modern Day Critic. You should know what to expect by now, and if you don’t you’re either new (check out the past issues too) or slow (sorry).

I like the philosophy that freedom from desire is the pathway to enlightenment, but that doesn’t make it any easier to follow. It’s hard not to want things–especially in a society that offers a 79 cent nacho plate.

Obama’s Speech to Students
There are people who are so afraid of this president and his “agenda,” they managed to make a much publicized stink about his speech to school students. An hour of listening to the president won’t change your influence over your kids. So, don’t worry, if you’re an asshole, there’s still a good chance your kid will be an asshole too … just like you.

Now … what was I talking about?

Bull Riding
The reason bulls jump and flail is that when the rider sits on their back a rope tightens around their testicles, and it’s not until they buck the guy off that the pain subsides. To score, a rider must stay on for eight seconds, which doesn’t seem like a long time to you and me, but tell that to the bull.

Dress Codes
The MDC has had lots of writing jobs, but only one of them—at a major retailer—had a dress code. I had to ask: Why the business attire requirement, when we were never seen by the public? The answer: Because that’s the way it’s always been. That‘s right up there with “because I said so,” as the worst answer of all time. In fact, if that were a good answer, we’d still be chucking shit at each other from the tree tops.

Thanks to Bob D. for the topic.

Plug Box
Featuring essays and shorts by luminaries such as Hunter S. Thompson, Mark Twain, and George Plimpton, The Dreaded Feast: Writers on Enduring the Holidays also includes “Home for the Holidays” by Friend of the Critic Christine Radant. Pick up a copy (or three) in October.

Got something you’d like to plug? Email the details with “Plug This” in the subject to moderndaycritic@yahoo.com.

This issue’s take-away: Like it or not, those animal crackers you’re eating are really just cookies.