Big Foot
I know this is coming about nine months early, but for a Halloween costume you really can’t beat Big Foot. It’s the fastest, easiest, most cost effective costume there is, and you’re wearing it right now. How’s that, you ask? Whatever you have on is ideal – because no one knows what Big Foot looks like.

Taglines
Just do it. Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. It’s the real thing. Taglines get at the essence of a brand. It’s the kind of thing I wrote before my body gave out. That being said, I do have a tagline for my own head: It does more than just grow hair.

Infant Toys
I have yet to run across a toy for the three month old set that couldn’t easily double as a dog toy. They’re all soft, brightly colored, and a great many of them squeak when squeezed. Sadly, it’s not vice-versa. Tug of war wasn’t even a challenge when my daughter and I played with that piece of knotted rope I gave her.

Children’s Books
The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The Very Busy Spider. The Very Quiet Cricket. For reasons that seem obvious to me, writers (but I guess not children’s books writers) are taught to avoid the word “very.” I’m getting in on this racket. So be on the lookout for my tome: The Very Scalding Boiling Water.

Snake Oil
It’s more refreshing than ice-cream. It has zero calories, but a full day’s supply of nutrients. It cures asthma, obesity, and rectal hemorrhaging. It’s good for halitosis, near-sightedness, and the clap. Your doctor doesn’t want you to know about it … but Dewey Cheatum does. Join him (if your check clears) at a series of informative seminars to learn what “it” is. Seminars are $500 each. Bring a friend.

Plug Box
Check out this five minute movie about Mike Williams, an illustrator, animator, and designer who has Machado Joseph Disease too.

You can still reach me by emailing moderndaycritic@yahoo.com.

This Issue’s Take Away: There can be some positives to negative thinking.

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