2011 Super Bowl Half Time Show
I used to think the Black Eyed Peas sucked. Then I saw their Super Bowl act … now I know they do. Featuring enough dancers, costumes and lights to rival the end of the Chinese Olympics, their musical performance should be remembered by what it did not have – musicians. I guess they couldn’t fit on the stage with the Peas and their colossal heads.

While Fergie did her impressively lame Axl Rose impersonation on a stale-to-say-the-least version of Sweet Child o’ Mine, the man who wrote one of rock’s most recognizable rifts blared it on his guitar for the 57 millionth time. Why? I guess that when the Black Eyed Peas come knocking, you don’t say no.

Usher got no introduction for his portion of the halftime show. That’s too bad. How else am I going to know whose records to avoid? After a few verses of computer-assisted bull shit, he wowed the crowd with a leap over a ducking Will.I.Am. that landed in a split. Athletic? Sure. Impressive? You bet. Musical? Not on your life. (By the way, is it considered live if you’re being funneled through Auto Tune?)

Bud Light
Once again, Bud Light’s Cracker Jack ad firm laid a huge turd with their Superbowl advertising. Occupying the opening spot, their take on trendy home improvement shows was a good idea, but the execution just wasn’t that funny, and it grows less so over time. Since the brand is all about image, it’s no wonder Bud Light’s sales continue to plummet. Maybe they should take some of the millions spent on marketing and – God forbid – improve the beer … but that’s just stupid.

Like most new parents, I’ve taken to referring to myself in the third person when talking to my kid: “Daddy’s going to get his jacket,” or “Sit down with Daddy.” Has this Daddy character forever become part of my head? Will “Daddy has to go to the potty” become “Oopsie, Daddy just sharted”?

This issue’s take away: New person smell trumps new car smell.

The MDC is updated monthly, and can be reached by email at moderndaycritic@yahoo.com.