Unverified Facts
People who prefer their toilet paper to fold over, rather than under, the roll are good in bed. You have friends on facebook you’ve never spoken to in real life. If Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry had a kid, it would be the antichrist.

One bonus to being confined to wheelchair is that I get to see the basic goodness of humanity everyday. To the dude who held up a line of cars exiting the bank to make sure I can get into the ATM, the woman who helped me grab a bottle of Pepsi while grocery shopping, and all the people that afford me the courtesies in-between, I say “Thank You.” Of course, the cynic in me thinks they go home and beat the crap out of their pets.

J.C. Penney
This popular retailer followed the release and recall of a t-shirt with the line, “I’m too pretty to do homework” (who thought that was a good idea?) with this broadcast gem. Whereas some women’s groups see a misogynistic message, I just see bad advertising. After all, who can tell me how many pairs of slacks this spot featured? I thought so.

Let me save you some time. Find the unedited pool scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High here. (Warning: By clicking this link, you agree to see Phoebe Cates’ bodacious boobies.)

This Issue’s Take Away: If no news is good news, what does it mean that there are three 24 hour news networks?