27
Robert Johnson. Jim Morrison. Janis Joplin. Jimi Hendrix. Kurt Cobain. Amy Winehouse. The world lost some pretty heavy hitters at 27. Is there some sort of mystical link between talented people and death at this age? Well, no. Did I silently congratulate myself when I turned 28? Absolutely.

Chik-Fil-A
This food court eatery is closed on Sundays to give employees a day off to worship as they please – which is great, unless you’re Jewish, or a Muslim. Their holy days are Saturday and Friday, respectively. All of which leads to the logic behind Chik-Fil-A’s employment drive: If you can’t work here, you’ll go to Hell.

Hurricane Irene
I’ve never been so disappointed to have missed a natural disaster. After having been battered by hype for 5 straight days, we didn’t even lose power – shit, the lights didn’t even flicker. The only thing that’s worse for wear after this storm is that we now own a canned ham.

Note: The MDC issue’s a preemptive apology to readers in Vermont, or anywhere else where life was made difficult by Irene.

The Constitution
It’s bad enough that many of the Republican presidential hopefuls will bring fringe issues like gay marriage, and abortion to the forefront this election, but many of them support writing the bigotry inherent in the issues in the constitution. I wasn’t a Poly-Si major, but it seems to me the constitution is there to protect what people CAN do, not to tell them what they CAN”T. That’s why the laws in it are called “rights.”

Toilet Seat Lids
To the best of my knowledge there are two kinds of these: hard and soft. To my ass, hard is the only way to go. Otherwise, it’s like dropping a deuce while sitting on a mushroom.

Join the Critic’s Crew on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/groups/FansoftheCritic/

This Issue’s Take Away: Dentists have a high suicide rate.

Advertisements